When my PTSD causes insomnia I write and create. I have never shared anything like this before but I know nobody judges here. This was from my own personal journal. I put a lot of poetry and other writings in there as well so here goes my first share from my journal….
MY OWN WILDERNESS-
My mind is full of areas
that I never want to explore again
but I know I have to work through old scars
in order for me to mend.
I’ve tucked the horrible memories away
in my own dark wilderness
and sometimes something causes them
to come to the surface.
A trigger, a sound, a feeling, a sight,
Some things even wake me up at night.
The horrors that these eyes have seen,
Sometimes make it hard to breathe.
I’m trying so hard
to make it through my own insecurities
But it feels impossible
when I’m haunted by the memories.
I will however find the light in me
and I will make it through all the trees and weeds if it takes me all of eternity.
I refuse to let the evil win
and maybe one day I’ll be whole again.
Until then there are lots of areas of my wilderness that I still have to explore so bare with me whenever I become unhinged.
— Dani Eason