I did not know what I was going to find when I arrived there. It was a feminist performance gathering. I was searching somewhere I could feel like home, after weeks of intense emotional exhaustion. I remember about a friend who lived like five hours away and I drove until his place trying to find a sense of home.

He was who told me about the event: an artistic feminist gathering. I did not know anybody there, but during one of the performances a women invited me to dance and we started singing. My voice was blocked. I left the sound of feelings to come out though, it was beautiful for a while and suddenly I felt like trapped in a net of beautiful coloured wool.  Then I became aware: the situation and the way I was feeling was like an arty representation of my difficulty to set up boundaries. I decided to come out of the improvised net.

Then we were invited to eat. While everybody was relaxing, having a tea, chatting, preparing the next activity… after the meal, the sight of this image hypnotized me. The previous month I had experienced a lot of confusion in my head and then the feelings of loss and loneliness. How could I get myself into that situation?

Then I felt the urge to make a picture… I could not remember when it was my last shot… while I was taking this image, I remember feeling the air coming through my nose like a relief… and I thought: “when a door closes a window opens”.

— Silvia Bustamante

 

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