Living with depression and connecting with the outside world has become very real for me the last few years. My depression got to it’s all-time high this year but at the same time, I have been stronger in other aspects of my mental health than I ever have been as well.
To me having depression and connecting with the world feels like butterflies, usually you get butterflies in your tummy when you meet a boy or when your in love or when you go on a carnival ride.
For me, I feel like the butterflies are in my head.
A million thoughts and feelings are racing around through my head and when faced with having to go places or meet people even talking on the phone can be extremely hard.
Everyone can see what I’m feeling they can see I’m not doing well, butterflies
I can’t be around people, butterflies
I don’t want to see anybody, butterflies
They will judge me, butterflies
They will laugh at me, butterflies
They won’t help me, butterflies
I don’t want to cry anymore, butterflies
I should be stronger than this, butterflies
What is wrong with me, butterflies
I’m going to go crazy, butterflies
Butterflies are beautiful and I feel like I have butterflies in my head because so many things are fluttering through, but when the butterflies settle down and they just glide I appreciate them.
They have helped me connect with the world through my depression and mental illness, I have met so many inspiring people. I have helped people, I learn and grow with the outside world as the spread of awareness grows.
We need voices, knowledge, help, friendship, healing because that is how we stop the silence and stop the fear revolving around mental illness.
I am not alone, butterflies
Im going to be ok,
— Trena Pearl Wall