You are more than your past mistakes

I went through a bought of depression when I lost my job last month. Laundry was never done. I didn’t shower. I wore sweatpants and baggie t shirts everyday. Dishes were always piled up in the sink. I didn’t talk to anyone or answer phone calls.
I had a job interview last week and even then I put in minimal effort to look presentable and wore a fake smile on my face. I doubted myself the whole drive there. I sat in the parking lot and debated whether or not I should even go in. How could they want someone that was just fired from her last job. Do I have enough experience? Am I capable of a position like this? I pulled down my mirror to check my make up and turned on the radio to relax my nerves. A so g came on that I used to use during my time in service when I would feel shameful of past mistakes. Some of The words to the song are “you are more then your past mistakes, your are more than choices you’ve made, you’ve been remade”. I almost burst into tears. I told myself you have made it through tougher things than this. You are strong and confident and I went into that interview with my head held high.

I kept myself very busy after that day so that my thoughts and anxiety did not get the best of me. I waited for about 3 days and received the best news. They offered me the job and I start next week!

Today I finally cleaned all of the dishes and finished the laundry. I brushed my hair and did not put it up. I feel good today and that may not be the same a week from now but I feel good today.

— Amanda Ransom

 

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